


Just when you least expect it, just what you least expect

by Two_Divided_by_Zero



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, F/M, Headcanons on who would be okay with poly abd who isbt, M/M, Multi, Phantom thief polyamory, Phone drabbles, This was suppoaes to be a drabble, spoilers all over the place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11231514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Two_Divided_by_Zero/pseuds/Two_Divided_by_Zero
Summary: Thick as thieves doesn't necessarily do justice for the bonds between the Phantom Thieves of heart.





	Just when you least expect it, just what you least expect

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd as heck  
> THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRABBLE  
> It is now midnight and I am tired  
> Apologies for not proof reading, but everything is still being written on a phone  
> ENJOY THE PHANTOM THIEF LOVE FEST!

Back home, Akira had never really considered himself...well…

On the days he was particularly realistic with himself, average was being generous. Multiple girls told him his hair was a mess. “You should cut it,” they'd croon, dragging fingers and snagging on knots, “maybe even,bleach it! The thug look is so cool, wouldn't you say?”

Then, there was his perpetual baby face. He used to stare at magazine covers, even the boys at gym and mourn the pudge to his cheeks. His mother tried her best, reassuring him that, “one day you'll have a jawline that can cut glass! Just look at your father!” She'd pinch and coo, but it was never really all that reassuring.

His eyes were the same boring color as everyone else's. Outside contacts, nothing could be done.

Finally, there was body type. No matter how hard he tried, all Akira could ever build was lean muscle. He tried meeting with the wrestling team, took advice from boxing. Lean, scrawny and thin shouldered was all he was.

There were never any letters in his locker, not even requisite chocolates for Valentine's Day. Akira Kurusu had submitted himself to the life of an NPC in someone else's heroic RPG and most days he could convince himself he was fine with it.

Then, he got arrested.

\---

First, were Ann and Ryuji.

Both awakened to their personas relatively close together, both suffered through Kamoshida. To be honest, Akira was a bit jealous of the bond they instantly formed.

Lovely Panther and rebellious Skull… admittedly, sometimes Joker would focus on,support just to watch them work. He saw the looks they'd share after a particularly rough bought with shadows, the heated stares…

After Kamoshida’s treasure was successfully stolen, it didn't surprise him all that much to witness Ann shove Ryuji into the alley wall outside the actual school and proceed to kiss the very air from his lungs. It was like a big I spell to his feet; he was mesmerized watching even as a trail spit trailed down Ryuji’s chin.

Why then...why then could he not stop watching?

(Morgana whined and cried from his bag, no doubt sounding like a yowling feral tom. “Lady Ann!” he whined, but Akira was deaf to it all.)

What broke him was when Ryuji looked over. Ann barely pulled back to breath, lips still glossy with their shared spit (which should be disgusting, why wasn't it disgusting?) and she just...waved him over. Like, ‘what are you waiting for?’ Even Ryuji, red faced and ruffled up gave him the most expectant look.

Once he was within reach, Ann pulled him in for the most heart-stopping kiss he could've imagined in all his mediocre dreams. She stroked his face and nibbled his bottom lip, but the real shock was when Ryuji ground up against his side to kiss the side of his neck.

As Akira walked back to LeBlanc later that evening covered in hickeys with more mussed than usual hair, he decided it was simply easier to smile enigmatically when asked if he had a girlfriend.

\---

Yusuke...Yusuke was different.

With Ann and Ryuji, there was that instant connection, that fire-forged friendship. The reason their...relationship?... worked so well was because they'd been through the awakening, the shadows, the palaces….

Yusuke though…. 

Akira saw a lot of his former self in Yusuke; not quick to make friends, not terribly sociable. He was almost painfully awkward and blunt beyond socially acceptable means.

Akira pulled him aside in mementos shortly after Madarame’s palace, interrupting his talk of eating strange mushrooms he found (which really was a serious concern to be addressed at another time) to quiet him with a kiss.

God, it was a disaster; their masks mashed awkwardly, Yusuke was still mid-sentence so they slobbered awkwardly. Still, as Akira pulled back and he saw the adoring flush spread past the kitsune mask to Yusuke's ears, he knew it wasn't a mistake.

“Joker, I must say something.”

“Oh?”

“While…” Yusuke muttered a bit, his tail swishing in agitation, “while I couldn't have picked a better partner, that was a rather disappointing first kiss.”

First kiss…

Joker looked back to see Panther and Skull both watching at a safe distance from the car. While well out of hearing range, they were readily available should trouble arise. Judging from their leader's expression, things may not go quite as smoothly as expected.

When Joker didn't respond immediately, he could just see Fox's body language change. Guarded, unsure… he was likely misinterpreting his leader's silence. “Ah, you would prefer someone more experienced th-”

Joker grabbed onto his mask and pulled him into another deep kiss before any,other stupid words could leave his mouth. Once Yusuke seemed sufficiently breathless and awestruck, Akira cupped his cheek.

“None of that matters, alright? Alright?” He asked again, waiting until Fox gave a dazed nod. “I like you Fox and I want to date you, of you'd have me.”

“Why would I ever say no?”

Moment of truth. “Because I'm also dating Ann and Ryuji.”

Yusuke paused before looking at the rest of the group. Ryuji chose that moment to wave, which earned a swift elbow to the gut from Panther. Without looking away, he began, “so they….”

(They'd all discussed this before, inviting Yusuke in. Akira liked him and the other two wanted him to be happy. They knew a relationship like this is built on conpromise.)

“Would you be comfortable sharing me?”

Fox should his head. “I'm not sure I follow.”

“Fox, I want a relationship with you. Do you want one with me?”

Timidly, shyly, Fox nodded. Akira smiled. “Then, am I correct in assuming that it's only me?”

There was no hesitation when Fox nodded his assent. Okay, progress.

Joker reached out and placed a hand on Fox's shoulder, rubbing gentle circles into it. “How would you feel about sharing me then?”

“Sha-mmph!”

Akira cut him off with a quick peck,and a smirk. “No interrupting, okay?”

Too starstruck to respond, Fox nodded. “Alright. Then I'm dating Ann and Ryuji. Ann and Ryuji are also dating each other. Likewise, I'd date you, but also date them. Is that something we could at least try out?”

Fox looked at Joker, looked at his brand new friends smiling at him from their car and nodded hesitantly. “I'm...not certain how good I'll be at sharing…but I'll not say no without trying!”

As Joker dipped Fox into another dramatic kiss to the whoops of their teammates, another phantom thief was added to the mix.

\---

Honestly, Makoto was far easier to convince than anyone expected.

After the palace was taken care of, everyone was a little...shocked...how aggressive she was about becoming closer to Ann. 

Secretly, everyone chalked it up to her lack of friendships. “It's loneliest at the top, man,” Ryuji interjected before nuzzling into Ann’s neck. She swatted him lightly before returning Makoto's text and flipping back into Ryuji's lap with a sigh.

Yusuke, currently slouched onto Akira's shoulder and reading a book perked up.”You're certain she doesn't just want to be ‘gal pals.’”

Akira pecked him lightly on the cheek before going back to his phone. “No one says ‘gal pals’ outside of teen romance novels, sweetheart. Go back to your book.”

“No, I think the Fantastic Mister Fox has a point!”

Yusuke perked back up. “Fantas-?”

“Ann, you're sure this isn't just some cutesy bullshit-y ‘let's get our nails done and talk about boys we like’ bullshit, is it?”

“Hmm, guess we'll just have to see, won't we?”

They ended up “seeing” a sloppy selfie of Ann kissing Makoto open mouthed and making a peace sign later in their group text. 

That evening, Makoto was welcomed into,the fold with a sloppy make out during one of Yusuke's endless supply of art documentaries. 

True to her persona, Makoto was a completely different person unleashed. Ann was especially pleased with her propensity towards hair pulling and rough fondling, the Akira was the unfortunate victim of a love bite that ended a bit bloodied than intended. Mistakes would be made, but they were happy and that's what mattered.

(Yusuke, though voluntarily excluded, was later welcomed into the ensuing cuddle puddle on futon.)

\---

It was rather ironic that Futaba and Yusuke struck up the quick friendship that they did.

“I only want to date you.”

Akira sat next to her on the couch, cuddling but not overbearing. For a moment she leaned in, before pulling right back away again.

“It doesn't have to be everyone, you know.”

She waved a hand in his face before curling tighter in on herself. “I'm not an idiot, you know. I've talked to Inari and had this place bugged for months. _I know what you get up to._. It's just…”

“Just…?”

“Ryuji, really?!!” Futaba exploded, kicking her legs out so hard they shook the coffee table. “I mean, Ann’s hot and is be lying if I said otherwise. Makoto has that...uptight librarian look to her, which if that is your thing,” shrug, “ and Inari’s a loser, but his heart is in the right place-”

“Wow, tell me you are taping this because that is the single nicest thing you've said about Yusuke to date!”

Akira was surprised when he received a swap to the head for that.

“But Ryuji! Just….just eugh… I don't know if I can voluntarily swap spit that might belong that.”

Sigh. “Swapping spit is such a vulgar way of putting it-”

“I'll give it a shot.”

Suddenly, Akira found himself with a lapful of hacker with expectant eyes. “If Inari can do it, then so can I. So please....”

He never did hear the end of that request, too busy kissing her sweetly on the lips. If she was willing to put her faith in him, then he'd do his utmost to not let her down.

\---

“So you and Haru are already swapping spit?”

The remaining punch from Ann was hard enough the the other phantom thieves actually winced in sympathy. “Does nothing sink into the thick skull of yours?! Tact, you idiot! It’s called tact!”

Haru, prim as ever, raised a hand. “He isn't incorrect though. However, to be completely honest....”

Makoto nudged her new apparent girlfriend over to the couch, where Akira was flanked by Futaba and Yusuke. With no warning, she bent over and kissed him on the lips.

The room went silent, only broken when Ryuji interjected from the floor with, “damn, that's kinda hot.”

Pulling away with a pink flush, Haru looked over to Makoto. Apparently receiving the reassurance she needed, she visibly drew in her shoulders and stood tall. “Akira, I've been in love since you first saved me from my...my…”

Ann stood up and gave her a hug, patting the distraught girl's back. “Sweetheart, it's okay, you don't have to say it.”

“But I do!” she asserted without letting go of Ann, “ I've loved you since you saved me. You were my hero, you know that?”

Yusuke and Futaba both cuddled a little closer in at those words. Yes, he was slowly becoming accustomed to being a hero.

Haru’s hand visibly tightened around Ann, earning her another comforting shush. “So, I talked to Mako and she mentioned your...relationship. I was scared at first, I…”

“You wanted to be the only one,” Yusuke cut in, “you wanted to be ‘special.’”

“Exactly! I thought….I thought….”

Unexpectedly, Yusuke got up and joined Ann in the group hug. “You thought it would be no different than being sold off as his plaything, am I right?”

At this, Ann released the two and took her seat back in Ryuji's lap.

“I wanted to be special! I wanted to be enough… but Makoto…. She told me that we're all special. That the Phantom Thieves…”

She sniffled a little, to which Makoto stood and offered her a tissue. The look she received could not be described as anything but loving.

“We all have a role to fill,” Yusuke said calmly, “and,you have one too, if you'd like it.”

Unexpectedly, Yusuke received a teary peck on the check in response. While he stumbled back to Akira's lap, the rest shared a collective grin. 

“Yes, yes I think I'd like that.”

“Well then,” Makoto stood and turned Haru to face her, “welcome to the group!”

Sojiro actually yelled at them to keep their “hoots and hollering down” as Makoto dipped Haru and French kissed her in front of everyone.

\---

Face-to-face with the killer, with the traitor...with Akechi….

Joker wasn't certain what to think.

Oracle wanted revenge, wanted blood. Hed killed her mother, stolen her childhood, left her to sleep on the floor-

Noir was sobbing into Queen’s shoulder. She was such a strong girl, so strong yet so sweet, it was hard to remember at times that Akechi took her father from her.

A father...a mother…

Tears, there were so many tears. Tears for dead parents, for betrayals….

Tears for his own brain,that was nearly splattered across the cement floor.

(Sometimes at night, when,he's feeling particularly self loathing, Akira imagines all the ways they could have failed. Would it have been a fast death? A slow one? Would he even be conscious of what was going on? What would his life look like, flashing befo-)

The tears had to stop. This...this was enough.

“Akechi…”

“Don't...don't you come near me!” The boy (because that's really what he amounted to, a boy who just craved his father's love) shook like a leaf. “You think you're so special, so smart? I'm the smart one! ME! I got away with this for so long, even my father had no idea…!”

Despite the various sounds of disapproval, Joker stepped forward towards the clearly distraught Akechi.

“”Jo-!”

Skull pulled Panther back into a tight embrace. “He's our leader; we gotta believe he knows that he's doing.”

Even then, Joker kept stepping forward. The iron deck freaked like a death knell, but the Phantom Thieves remained where they were. They loved and trusted their leader far too much to not trust him in this one last gambit.

Once they were within arm's reach, Akechi frantically gripped his forearms in a mimicry of a straightjacket. “Well, Joker, aren't you going to listen to your little harem back there? They all think you're going to die.”

Joker looked back at his team, his beloved squad before shaking his head. “And that's where you're wrong, for once.”

“...Wha?”

“They're wondering.”

At this, all pretense of violence dropped from Ajechi’s face. He shook, gripping his arms even tighter, but looked lost. “Wondering what?”

Without missing a beat, Joker gave his trademark grin. “Wondering how I'm,going to steal your heart, of course~!”

In one final deadly gambit, Joker lunged out and wrapped the manic boy in his arms. Even as he was scratched, bitten and kicked, he refused to let go. “I'll kill you! I'll kill you all! Why would you think a stupid plot like this would work?”

Surprisingly, it was Noir who stepped forward. “Because isn't one dead father enough?”

Joker could feel the very moment her words sank in as Akechi went slack. He nodded to the team, who cautiously stepped forward.

“What you've done…” Queen choked up a little before straightening back up, “what you've done is despicable. You murdered people, toyed with their minds.”

“Killed my mother…”

Queen looked back to Oracle before continuing, “but what you're doing now is the coward's way out.”

“We-ack” Ryuji fumbled at trying not to cuss. “We...want to help you. Atone that is.”

“I don't ha-”

“Bullshit.”

This time, Joker spoke from his position of still restraining Akechi. “You wanted him to love you. You wanted him to notice you-”

“Stop!”

“You wanted affirmation that your life was worth living. It won't be easy and it'll take time, but we've all come to the agreement that if you'll give up all this...revenge and attention-seeking… we will help you.”

Though some more begrudgingly than others, all the Phantom Thieves held out a hand toward Akechi. So shocked was he, he never realized Joker releasing him to stand by his team.

Fingers quivering, Akechi reached forward. Seven hands reached back.


End file.
